Jane Says

I was asked to host a charity event this last weekend which, I need to mention, I agreed to do when I had a “big, important job.” Eventhough I am no longer “big and important,” they still wanted me to emcee the event.  So since I said I would, I will and I did, well, tried to at least.

With the research done, scripts reviewed, I was armed and ready to go.  I put all things aside on Saturday to spend a day hosting 2 talent shows for this not-for-profit organization (the name I am leaving out for reasons you’ll read about in a minute).

When I arrive at the location at 11am, I introduce myself to the founder of the group and she quickly proceeds to introduce me to the organizer of the event.  They are cordial but give me the once over and say “hang tight while we check on the sound system.”  They went darting into the ballroom and I sat down to review my notes.  Minutes later the founder comes back to me and says, “Jane, can you go home and change your clothes? Your skirt is too short.”

Just so you can visualize this, I was wearing a black, turtle neck, long sleeve dress that came just above my knees… no cleavage, no butt crack, no muffin tops… it was a nice, simple, easy dress, on a nice girl (I know you were thinking I was going say easy girl, sorry!).  I told her “No way. This is who I am and I certainly did not come all this way to titilate people at a fundraising talent show with my knees.” Although I did offer to put on opaque tights so that the only skin showing would be my hands and face.

But she still persisted and said, “no, the skirt is still above your knees. If we were in a Basilica your knees would have to be covered.” I reminded her that we weren’t in Rome and that this is a TALENT SHOW in an activity center ballroom.

Still no dice… my dress was too short for her liking!

With that, I drove 45 minutes home to “change”.  During that time frame, I realized I would never make it back in time to host the show so they needed to go on without me and that I would come back to host the evening show wearing PANTS!  I spent my newly found afternoon hours pondering the right thing to do….? Was it go back with my head held high in a more appropriate outfit and show them how good I really am? If I decided not to go back was I going to get in trouble with the karma police?  What would my parents think?  Why was that dress out of line? I’ve worn it to church…I’ve worn it to funerals…it’s a perfectly conservative dress for any occasion.  In fact, I remember seeing photos of my mother’s wedding gown which was much shorter and she was on a Chuch altar, getting married!  I decided that I already did the right thing, I showed up and they’re the ones that said go home.  If I went back I might feel uncomfortable and I probably just wasn’t the right girl for the event.  So, with hours to spare, I called the founder and said I am respectfully backing out of the event at the risk of offending someone with what I might say. 

Honestly, I have no hard feelings towards them but it is 2009, not 1950… and I have NEVER EVER been told that I was dressed inappropriately.  I’m sort of a fashionista!  So what’s appropriate and where?

The woman said she was “middle age at 39″ and she understood my fashion sense at the youthful age of 24 but the old people in attendence may not.  After a good laugh, I told her I was almost 38, I wasn’t middle age at all, and that my 75 year old mother bought me the dress and my 92 dad thought it looked nice… So, I am not real sure who in this scenerio is the “old person,” the people at the event looking to be entertained or the organizaton itself?

Nonetheless, I didn’t change, I won’t change for anyone, and my style is merely a reflection of my personality… the outside may package young, daring and flirtacious, but inside is good, morale, fair, non-judgemental, loving and kind. I CAN be all of those things in one package, I am.

Whew, it’s a good thing I didn’t wear this… oh wait, my knees are covered so it would probably be okay!